Here’s a running list of goofy, shameless, and straight-up bizarre Trump grifts
🏢 Pre-Presidency Hustles
Trump Steaks – Sold at Sharper Image, because nothing says high-end beef like overpriced meat in an electronics store.
Trump Vodka – The slogan was “Success Distilled,” but he’s a teetotaler. Never drank it.
Trump University – A fake school that defrauded people and led to a $25 million settlement.
Trump Shuttle – An airline that failed so fast, it was practically still taxiing.
Trump Ice – Bottled water for people who think gold foil makes it taste better.
Trump Mortgage – Launched right before the 2008 housing crash. Genius.
Trump: The Game – A Monopoly knockoff that no one played twice.
Trump Casinos – Bankrupted multiple times. He managed to go broke running a casino.
🏛️ Presidency-Era Grifts
Selling official Trump campaign merchandise at inflated prices – Including…
Trump straws
Trump gold-plated coins
“Space Force” shirts before Space Force existed
Mar-a-Lago Membership – The price doubled the moment he won the election.
Foreign dignitaries staying at Trump hotels – Literal pay-to-play influence laundering.
Secret Service charged full price at Trump properties – Taxpayer-funded grift.
RNC events at Trump businesses – "Donate to stop the Democrats!" → Money goes to Trump Inc.
Redirecting military flights to stopovers at Trump resorts – Scotland fuel stopgate.
Using campaign funds to buy his own books – So he could pretend they were bestsellers.
🤡 Post-Presidency Circus Grifts
Trump NFTs – Cartoonish trading cards of Trump as a superhero, cowboy, astronaut…
And yes, they sold out, then immediately plummeted in value.
Trump-branded Bible – Because nothing says piety like $59.99 grift scripture.
Selling Trump sneakers – Gold-colored, $399 “Never Surrender” shoes. Released during a court case.
MAGA Mugshots Merch – Using his booking photo to sell t-shirts, mugs, and flags.
Truth Social – A struggling alt-platform grift funded with shady SPAC money and now under investigation.
Save America PAC – Raised over $100M supposedly for election audits and fraud fighting…
Instead, it went to legal fees, personal expenses, and PAC transfers.
Endless email scams –
“I’m picking 100 patriots to stand with me!”
“Triple match if you donate now!”
“My birthday wish is $100 from you.”
💀 Bonus Grift Vibes
Melania’s NFT collection – Sold weird "historic" NFTs using government images without permission.
Fundraising off every indictment – “They’re not after me, they’re after YOU!” → Proceeds to Trump.
Hosting shady rallies where donation links go straight to his pocket, not to local candidates.
🎯 Bottom Line:
Trump doesn’t run a movement — he runs a merch table with a legal defense fund stapled to it.
If it can be slapped on a hat, a steak, a gold coin, a fake diploma, or a mugshot…
he’s already tried it.
It never stops.
